2) If you see the Doctor, fucking kill the Doctor. There is no practical purpose to keeping him alive. He will not help you with your incredibly intricate scheme. He will in fact do the exact goddamn opposite. Just kill him as soon as he says, “Hello, I’m the Doctor,” which he always does.
3) Do not attempt to use the Doctor’s companions as bait. Do not kill the Doctor’s companions until you’ve killed the Doctor. Flippant and jovial Doctor is easy to aim at, then kill. Pissed off vengeful Doctor will fuck you up beyond all comprehension.
4) I mean it, don’t talk to the fucker. Seriously.
5) If you find the TARDIS, bury it in concrete, throw it into a sun, or best yet, dump it into a black hole. You will never figure out how to operate it. You will not be able to exploit its technology. If the Doctor isn’t dead yet (Why haven’t you killed him yet?), then your only chance to survive until he shows himself is to make the bloody TARDIS completely inaccessable. And no, two of your idiot minion guards in front of it won’t work. Get rid of the goddamn thing.
6) Depending on whatever incarnation you’re dealing with, you will need anywhere from one to thirteen bullets. Bring three hundred, just in case.
7) What the fuck did I just say about not talking to the Doctor?
8) If the Doctor pulls out a sonic screwdriver before you can kill him, run like a motherfucker and don’t look back. Consider your plans already foiled, find some backwater of time and space to rebuild, and hope you don’t run into him again.
9) Never try to kill the Doctor. Never, ever, ever lay a trap for the Doctor. He will find it, he will get out of it, and then he will find you. Your best method to kill him is to do something evil completely unrelated to the Doctor. He may or may not show up. If he shows up, he will say, “Hello, I’m the Doctor.” Then you goddamn shoot him.
10) DO NOT TALK TO THE FUCKING DOCTOR, YOU IDIOT.